Life Without Substancia
A Capsa without a Substancia is in many ways like this abandoned 19th-century dam mill. The foundation without the paddle wheel will render the whole inoperable-Eastern South Dakota-Photo by JEV
3: 1 A person with only a Capsa and no Substancia is called an SP (Stage Prop). I decided on the name because this is the role so many of us take during our lives and interactions with Authentics, those with both Capsa and Substancia fused together. 3: 2 Furthermore, and importantly, Authentics can easily spot SPs, and SPs can begrudgingly identify themselves as I have done, however, an SP can never identify another SP.
3: 3 For all intents and purposes, SPs are here to follow, enrich, and placate the Authentics, because of this social structure Authentics have a significant advantage in many crucial areas. 3: 4 These social differences may have been the genesis of hierarchies and caste systems. 3: 5 Some of these social advantages include self-confidence, leadership, and clarity of thought. These traits contribute to a marked difference between Authentics and SPs in every facet of social interaction. 3: 6 In my experience as an SP not having my original Substance has caused a multitude of psychological and social problems. Including severe anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. 3: 7 However, this could also be the result of the attachment of a rogue Substacia. 3: 8 But on a more social level, it has left me feeling marked. For many years I attributed this to the way I grew up, poor, in a broken home, with a major inferiority complex. 3: 9 I thought maybe these factors had left a permanent stain, a stain that others could see. 3: 10 But many people grow up this way without these problems, so it had to be something else. Having a two-part soul and missing a portion explains many of these feelings and circumstances.
3: 11 Severe anxiety has always been a part of my life. I always thought extreme nervousness and fear of many things were normal. 3: 12 As a child, I could not get on rollercoasters or almost any ride. 3: 13 In fact, now as a 51-year-old man, I am sitting in an airplane waiting to take off from Rome, flying home from my first trip to Europe.
3: 14 As I sit here I am overwhelmed with nerves and fear. It comes in waves like so many of my panic attacks. Moving from my gut into my throat, making me feel like I’m going to vomit. 3: 15 The same feeling I had when waiting to play a football game or before running a race in track and especially before making airborne jumps in the military.
3: 16 It is hard to concentrate on anything but cold harsh fear. And with fear comes sadness and regret, a need to find a hiding place, to try and sleep. 3: 17 The manifestation of depression, self-medication with alcohol, an addiction to the bar culture, and a waste of the prime of life.
3: 18 I do believe that the lack of a Substancia contributes substantially to many mental and physical ills. Additionally, the separation of Capsa and Substancia as explained earlier is the main cause of the supernatural. 3: 19 The superiority of the Authentics in my view planted the seeds of social class divisions which has sowed much of the suffering endured in The Bastille.