Search for Substancia
4: 1 I have given a lot of thought to not only being an SP, but how that has shaped my life, relationships, opportunities, and failures. 4: 2 But additionally, how to find my lost substantia. And furthermore, if it would be possible to reunite substancia and capsa during an incarnation. 4: 3 I believe the key to finding a lost Substancia lies in the realm of the supernatural, in the realm of the magician and the shaman. 4: 4 One place to start is the interpretation of repetitive and meaningful dreams or the use of shamanistic trances.
4: 5 Being able to admit being an SP is a crucial first step, in doing so you are calling out telepathically to your Substancia and listening for an answer in whichever form it comes.
4: 6 In addition, opening up to feelings and intuitions of places and circumstances that feel meaningful, strange, or even frightening.
Recurring Dreams:
4: 7 The Compound
I have a recurring dream that always starts with me driving some kind of vehicle, a car or a wagon maybe. 4: 8 I do not know why, but I have a feeling that there is a female presence with me in the vehicle telling me where to go, maybe a matriarch, my grandmother, or an ancient ancestor guiding me. 4: 9 As I said it starts in a vehicle, I am driving and it seems that this female ancestor is in the back, she is guiding me between two rolling hills, it looks like a rolling prairie. 4: 10 The road meanders through the hills and onto flat ground, where there looks to be a large compound of some kind. 4: 11 I have never seen this place in person or in a photograph while awake. It is hard for me to picture it in my head when I concentrate on trying to distinguish details.
4: 12 However, I remember a large cylinder-shaped building cresting above the other buildings and trees, and the whole compound is surrounded by a fence or wall. 4: 13 I never remember entering the buildings but, I do remember climbing up the outside of one onto a balcony. I feel it is old and somehow connected to me.
4: 14 Crypt
I have a recurring dream that I and a group of people, it seems maybe they are old friends, find a concrete or stone structure buried underground. 4: 15 The first part is easy to access but the last part is a tiny hole that seems impossible to fit through. 4: 16 Somehow I always manage to go through and inside is what seems like a crypt containing something or someone important to me. It is never resolved as to who or what it is. 4: 17 And I am always fearful in the dream about the exit through the small hole, however, I always make it out. 4: 18 The same dream and sequence happens in another dream, however, the small entrance is in a tower. Perhaps the tower from the compound mentioned earlier. 4: 19 At times in these dreams, I don’t attempt to go in, I am both afraid of the entrance, what is inside, and that I will not be able to get out.
4: 20 Flandreau
The dream that occurs most frequently by far is my dreams of Flandreau, South Dakota. 4: 21 My maternal grandmother’s family has been in the area since the early 1900s. 4: 22 Many of my ancestors are buried in the Flandreau cemetery including my Great grandparents, great-uncles and aunts, my own grandparents, and cousins. 4: 23 My dreams are in many different contexts and places in Flandreau and with a diverse cast of former friends, classmates, and relatives.
4: 24 I often dream of the house where my grandparents lived. I explained these dreams earlier, the dreams at this location are usually frightening and have to do with a spirit or entity I feel in the house, especially the basement. 4: 25 The dream that has dominated my later adult life involves a longing inside the dream to move and reside in Flandreau. 4: 26 It always involves me on a visit there and trying to find a way to stay. But there is always an obligation, I constantly have somewhere else I need to be. This is strange because I have no immediate family there anymore, and really no rational reason to live there. 4: 27 My feeling is that I am feeling a call from my Substancia hidden or trapped and trying to reunite, to become whole. 4: 28 In the dream I described earlier, with me driving the vehicle and navigating between two hills, the hills in my dreams look very much like a feature in the Flandreau cemetery. 4: 29 There is the new section, then a deep valley that leads up another hill to the much older portion of the cemetery with graves dating back to the 1800s.
Shamanic Journeys:
4: 30 Journey 1
May 25, 2023, 18:32
I found the crevice, it reminded me of ones I have seen in the mountains up Poudre Canyon. I entered, it was dark but I had a torch. 4: 31 Traveling through the tunnel was uneventful, it had bare walls, made of stone and dirt, and one large boulder on my right side that I could easily pass by. 4: 32 When I emerged on the other side, I could see an almost dry riverbed on my right, with large trees fallen into it from both sides. 4: 33 I also saw an antelope as soon as I emerged from the cave exit. I crossed the river bed by walking on one of the fallen trees. Once I crossed I turned right and followed the steam to what looked like an old cabin. 4: 34 Inside there were small empty glass bottles, maybe an old drugstore. I then recrossed the river bed again by walking on one of the fallen trees. 4: 35 I went passed the opening in which I emerged and followed a ridge up to the high ground where I could see the entire area. 4: 36 In front of me was the riverbed, across the river, I could see the old cabin and down to my right the cave opening. 4: 37 I walked down the slope to my left and behind the hill was a corn field at harvest time. 4: 38 On the edge of the cornfield, there was another old fallen tree which I moved my hands across, I felt a familiar power in this dead tree, maybe old family ties.
4: 39 I walked back to the crevice opening and went back through the tunnel, emerging by the road which looked like Poudre Canyon.
4: 40 Journey II
June 15, 2023, 17:20
I entered a cave that I had toured in Western South Dakota two years ago. In a certain place, it gets extremely narrow, maybe 20 inches across, after passing through the narrows there is a stone staircase going down (this was not in the real cave but it was in my journey). 4: 41 At the bottom of the staircase, the cave in my journey opens to the outside with a large circular hole in the side of a rock face. 4: 42 There is an old wooden ladder leading out of the cave entrance. To my right, I see a slow-moving river meandering silently, reminding me of the Big Sioux. 4: 43 The river is flooded, on the flood plain I can see carp coming to the surface looking for bugs or taking gulps of air they sound like pigs as they surface. 4: 44 To my left is a sheer rock wall of sandstone. I follow the river back toward the cave entrance, however, the bank is washed out and I cannot pass. 4: 45 So I follow the river in the opposite direction following the river on my right and the rock face on my left. I enter an area of tall grass and trees, I keep going, the land and river begin to change.
4: 46 Instead of grass and trees, it is now dry scrub and cactus. The river which was slow and deep, is now turbulent. 4: 47 The sheer rock face had flattened and I was looking at a wide expanse of high desert. 4: 48 I turned and followed the river back to the cave entrance up the ladder, up the stairs, through the narrows, and out where I had started.
4: 49 Journey III
July 21, 2023, 15:25
When I was 8 and 9 years old we lived in Columbia SC. When it rained hard we would open up a storm drain at the bottom of Crest Hill Dr and get in two by two while the other would close the manhole. 4: 50 My journey begins with me walking down the hill toward the storm drain manhole. I take a crowbar and open it, I begin to descend. 4: 51 I descend a long way down, it is very dark. Finally, I reach the bottom, I am standing in the storm drain, a round pipe about 8 feet in diameter. 4: 52 I turn to my right and start walking, I can tell the tunnel is winding around like in a big circle. 4: 53 Light begins to come into the tunnel through grates in the ceiling. Up ahead I can see roots draping down into the tunnel. 4: 54 I have written about a tree that stood in my backyard when I lived in Columbia, I was looking at the roots of this tree dangling like wet hair into the tunnel. 4: 55 There was a grate in the back of the roots so I climbed up into the light. I was in my backyard at 2135 Crest Hill Dr. 4: 56 I began to walk around following the fenceline. Suddenly the fences and houses disappeared. Only a vast plain remained, simultaneously, I began to see in black and white. 4: 57 I ventured back into the tunnel, my vision was again in color. I stood looking at the roots, I was not sure what it meant, was there something in the roots? 4: 58 Nothing happened, I was not getting any new inputs. So I went up and out of the grate again. The plain was still there and I was again seeing in black and white. 4: 59 I suddenly was seeing what I thought was me in the third person, but it was not me, it did not look like me, It was what looked like a Union soldier from the Civil War. 4: 60 He was just standing and looking out over the plain. So I stood there too from my point of view. 4: 61 Time passed and I entered the drain again, moved past the roots, and began journeying back. It was a smooth and easy path back to the ladder up and out to where I began.
4: 62 Analysis:
The dreams about the crypt is intriguing, I have several of these dreams and I never find out what is inside the crypt and the the dreams overall are hard to remember and confusing. 4: 63 Could my Substancia be trapped in a crypt somewhere? As for the shamanic journeys, I was impressed with the detail I could see while concentrating on the drumbeat and letting my mind wander. 4: 64 Maybe with an experienced shaman, these journeys could lead somewhere.
I stopped doing them because I knew it was only a matter of time before they led me to the burial mounds of Tonducheon South Korea, where I believe my spirit attachment happened when I desacrated the graves there. I did not want to have my capsa swallowed while on a journey there alone.